My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
dude. I can hear the air.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
