i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
