Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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