Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
