you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
