We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize