i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
