I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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