fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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