so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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