i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
