Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
