I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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