I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
