Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
