he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
