i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
