"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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