omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cut my penus on the lid.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
