i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Houston, we have a blender
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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