I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
