i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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