dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
