he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
