I want to have your abortion
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my liver is dry heaving
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
