I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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