That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
