So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
