conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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