it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
