Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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