Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
