I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
