420 ftw
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never joke about your clitoris.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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