Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
