This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
