Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
