WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
