gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
