it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
