Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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