Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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