I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
