sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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