my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
