i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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