I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
