And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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