just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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