I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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